Meredith Barnes Writer

Mer Rugby Stripe dress on Rust Stairs

Hi.

Welcome to my blog. I'm so excited to share with you my latest finds and feels.

Writing Wednesday:  The silence opens the door for entry. Subtle at first, then overwhelming. A one note constant hum. I look around wondering how anyone could bear this intrusion. It is creeping in, past ear’s central station an

Nov 4

Nov 4

Meredith Barnes

I look with those around me to an uncertain future.  We are living in the middle . Not the before or the after. The painful in between. The part where we want so desperately to know that it will go our way. That we will get what w

Nov 2

Nov 2

Meredith Barnes

Without a doubt it is a different holiday season this year. My temptation is to dwell in the disappointment that different has brought me. The missed traditions. The deflated expectations. The loss.  But then I think of things that

Oct 30

Oct 30

Meredith Barnes

How many pumpkins is too many pumpkins? I've been put on a pumpkin purchasing freeze by Ben. I don't know about you but this year I'm looking for holiday cheer in all the nooks and crannies. I've never been a big Halloween enthusiast,

Oct 28

Oct 28

Meredith Barnes

I cannot control how the words I share will be received. Most times it feels like the offering I produce is sent into a void.  The questions quickly flood my mind. Am I good enough? Will people like what I’m writing? Will this offer

Oct 26

Oct 26

Meredith Barnes

I write, the words bumping around in my head. Their vibrations so fierce that they will surely come out through cracks they’ve created if I don’t first expel them from the tips of my fingers. ⁣⁣⁣ ⁣ When writing I feel whole. But the darke

Oct 23

Oct 23

Meredith Barnes

I Want to Be Like Mila: Learning to Give Thanks in All Circumstances

Oct 21

Oct 21 I Want to Be Like Mila: Learning to Give Thanks in All Circumstances

Meredith Barnes

A small mouth gaping open, water running down its sides. Standing in the shower, holding my youngest son, I marvel that no sound escapes. This mouth, the smallest and the loudest in our family. Pink gums with inconsistent croppings of whi

Oct 19

Oct 19

Meredith Barnes

It’s her. The one who tells me I’m doing it wrong. I’m too much. That no one cares. “Bad mom” she whispers. “Lazy” she moans. “Not good enough” she challenges. If only ear plugs could reach deep enough to silence her. The voice of all th

Oct 16

Oct 16

Meredith Barnes

Blue sky dotted with ombre clouds colored by the rise of the sun. I smile and hurry to lace up sneakers. To stretch legs and lungs in atmosphere free of ash and soot. I settle into stride, my mind scrolls, making plans for the day. Life r

Oct 14

Oct 14

Meredith Barnes

With the exception of a few days this past week, here in Southern California fall has not made herself known. At least not in temperature. And though the weather is like this most years, this year it feels exceptionally egregious. Truthfu

Oct 12

Oct 12

Meredith Barnes

It spills, the way things do when you are in a hurry. Fury crosses my mind—a premonition comes late, slow down. But patience is a lesson I refuse to learn. I mime patience in the slow corners of my life. But as pace picks up—three boys sw

Oct 9

Oct 9

Meredith Barnes

Sand still in our ears, proof of our escape and inattention to detail in the shower. I think about reaching to wipe it out of the small tunnels leading to thoughts untold, mostly due to his lack of vocabulary at age one. I settle for grun

Oct 7

Oct 7

Meredith Barnes

He thinks we are in Hawaii as he runs down the hall to find our room. We aren’t. A much more domestic stop is on our itinerary for this attempt at escape—Huntington Beach.  To be fair, if I use my three-year-old goggles and imagine

Oct 2

Oct 2

Meredith Barnes

To be fair I’ve had a margarita by the pool. So perhaps that is why this moment feels extra light. I don’t like to drink for a multitude of reasons. The need for control being the strongest pull. I know too clearly the going up is never w

Sep 30

Sep 30

Meredith Barnes

Vacation: an extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in traveling. Synonyms: Holiday, trip, break, day off Vacation: the action of leaving something one previously occupied. Synonyms: Quitting, e

Sep 28

Sep 28

Meredith Barnes

I am happy, without clear cause. I realize it after my third time appreciating the light on this altogether average day. It—the light—has changed, I don’t know when. I feel fall creeping closer, despite my knowledge that though the calend

Sep 25

Sep 25

Meredith Barnes

Smug in my evolution towards patience, I come to an abrupt stop. Cars in lines. Confused feet itching to release the break, to push down and go. How far I have come, from my worry of time. The stress of being late. Of being in a hurry. Wi

Sep 23

Sep 23

Meredith Barnes

I see him under the lemon tree. Each sitting citrus shrinking upwards, clinging to branch.  He didn’t wait for me like I thought he would. Bigger than his body, he went to acquire this taste on his own, despite having asked me to com

Sep 21

Sep 21

Meredith Barnes

Perhaps it's the pain in bones that has been a trusted companion longer than not. Maybe it’s the ache of a womb that knew a heartbeat for just a few weeks. Then, suddenly still—vacant despite continued occupation of what might have been.&

Sep 19

Sep 19

Meredith Barnes