The Battle Against Comparison
It’s hard not to compare myself to those around me. I don’t like to do it, I know the dangers in lining myself up against others. But even knowing the danger of comparing myself to others, it still happens from time to time. When I find myself stuck in a comparison spiral I have to remind myself a few things.
God has given me my exact life for a purpose.
Everyone experiences both joy and pain. No one is exempt no matter how pretty it looks from the outside.
My life is not meant to glorify me, but to glorify God.
Joy is not a limited commodity.
God Has Given Me My Exact Life for a Purpose
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
The interesting thing about this frequently quoted Bible verse is that the book of Jeremiah is not an uplifting book. It is a prophetic book, written by the prophet Jeremiah, delivering some rather upsetting prophesies to the land of Judah. God’s judgement on a disobedient people seems to be a cornerstone within the verses of Jeremiah, but we also see glimpses of God’s love and mercy through passages like the one above.
God does have a plan and you are a part of it. Even when you feel forgotten or stuck in the judgements and trials, God has not left you behind. Your life is beautifully unique and each experience you have will continue to mold you into the person God has designed you to be. When you feel you are watching others on the path you feel you are supposed to be on, remind yourself that your future is already marked and known.
Everyone Experiences Joy and Pain.
No One is Exempt, No Matter How Pretty it Looks from the Outside.
Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Psalm 51:8
The Psalms reference the word “joy” or “joyful” over fifty times. And yet if you read through the Psalms you wil notice that they are not entirely joyful. There are many emotions that are shared throughout the verses. Some that lament life situations. Some that cry out to God in pain. Some that fear destruction. The Psalms are one of the best reminders that we have that life is not meant to be comprised of only good experiences.
No matter what it looks like from the outside, no one has the perfect life. We all face struggles within our days, they just aren’t publicly evident. It’s tempting to compare how good someone else has it when we can’t see their struggles but in these times, remind yourself of the Psalms and the complexity of emotions that we feel—joy and sorrow. If you are in a season of fear or pain, use the Psalms as your guide and cry out to God. He is listening.
My Life is Not Meant to Glorify Me, but to Glorify God
But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.
1 Timothy 6:6-8
It is a daily effort to remind myself that I am not the most important person in the world. God gives all of us talents, gifts and desires. And these abilities are meant to bring joy to the world and by extension bring joy and glory to God. But it’s easy to lose sight of the purpose behind these gifts. It feels good to get the credit, to be told we are doing a good job. But when we start to think that our work is completely of our own doing and when we start to use our talents to gain more applause rather than to point toward our Creator, we lose sight of our true purpose.
When comparison of yourself to the talent’s of others starts to make you feel less important or diminished remind yourself that your life is not meant to glorify yourself, it’s mean to glorify God. Find freedom in being exactly who God created you to be.
Joy is Not a Limited Commodity
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11
Scarcity seems to be a mindset that many of us operate from. Will there be enough for me? It’s easy to have this thought. After all, there are many people who are living on less than they need. There are hungry people without enough to eat. There are sick people without enough to get well. Enough seems to be a worry for most of us. Even when it’s not in a dire state, we still worry about having enough.
But there is always enough joy. I’m not talking about happiness. I’m talking about the joy that comes from knowing and being known by God. The joy that is an assurance of his love for us, even when we don’t have enough of something else in our life. When you are struggling with seeing what someone else has and find yourself worried that there won’t be enough for you—love, money, accolades, security—remind yourself of Psalm 16. With God there is always enough joy. Work to seek his joy when you are worried about what you don’t have.
It’s hard to avoid comparison. It seems that everywhere we turn there is someone doing it better, faster, smarter—or at least we think they are. But the truth is we don’t know the whole picture. We don’t know how God’s plan for our lives might be doing more than we can even see or understand. And even as I look up from writing this and see the abundant messiness of my life—my perfectly imperfect children, my imperfect but able body—I recognize that when I allow comparison to steal my joy I am telling God that what he has already done for me isn’t enough. And so I turn to gratitude.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Romans 15:13
