What is Looking for Less?
When I hear someone talking about seeking less in their life, I like the sound of it but I also think to myself, That’s too hard. I can’t throw out everything I own. It feels like an unreasonable request is being made. And quickly the idea of less becomes just another burden or expectation for my life that I can’t live up to. That’s not my goal in writing about a life built around seeking less. I’m not here to tell you that you should throw out all the t-shirts in your closet that don’t spark joy in your heart or to only own three pairs of shoes. Or to avoid Costco at all costs (You’ll find me there every other Monday perusing the aisles with Ben on what we lovingly have named our “day date".) No, the less I’m exploring is not defined by possessions (Although that might be what God turns your attention to in the reading of these words.). The less I’m asking us to look for is in our souls.
To some this may sounds scarier than simply cleaning out the craft cupboard or organizing the junk drawer. And it might be. It’s scary to do the work within. The deep clean of our hearts and minds—to really ask the hard questions. But we don’t have to do it all at once. We can be kind to ourselves and dip our toes in the water. Seeing how an idea feels without jumping in head first. The all-in submersion method isn’t usually how lasting change occurs. Instead it’s through slow thoughtful methodical attempts. Consistently showing up to an idea. This is how we make the lasting improvements in ourselves.
The phrase, Looking for Less, came out of my mouth about a month ago. But the truth is that I have been thinking about less for quite a while. As I entered the new year I found myself attempting to shed the excess in my life. I live in a house that holds quite a bit of excess.
Parenting three boys spanning toddler to elementary has created a ripe gardening soil for incredible amounts of odds and ends, flim-flam, cheap toys, and bits and pieces. I am living in a gold mine of junk. Actually it’s not that simple. Not all of it is junk. I’m tempted to label it that way because it’s not mine and yet I find myself wading through lego towers, half of the latest McDonald’s happy meal prize or sliding on a hot wheels car. But just because they are not meeting my need doesn’t mean they are not meeting someone else’s. Living in a household of different needs it’s hard to sort what belongs and what doesn’t.
I started tackling the drawers in my desk. I pulled everything out and sorted what to keep and what to toss. And I started feeling better. With each nook and cranny of my desk area that I organized I felt in control. Which, to me, is one of the best feelings in the world—control! The master of my domain. No surprises. Control is a drug that many of us like to administer to ourselves when life get’s too overwhelming. Some of us find control with food—what we eat and when. Some of us with TV—deciding to control our thoughts by simply entering the void of shutting down. There are so many ways we seek to control. But I also know from years of attempting to have control in my life that we never truly have it completely. Control is an illusion.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
We make plans and God laughs. And then we keep making plans despite the laughter. We know God is in control and yet we find ourselves back at the fridge looking for the food that will makes us feel safe. Or yelling at our children. Or, like me earlier this year, submerging myself into cleaning the chaos in my house.
After my cleaning project I felt really good. I felt in control. But I wasn’t. And eventually new piles started forming. More stuff entered my home that demanded to be put somewhere and as I sit here today, I am surrounded by a desk that holds 5 piles of odds and ends.
This is what I want to say to you. This is what I want you to know about the concept of Looking for Less. You cannot organize yourself into a better life. You cannot throw out enough pairs of shoes to a simpler way of living. Because a life of contentment, a life of true less, does not start with getting rid of possessions, it starts with a spiritual reformation. A complete shift in the soul and what it is searching for. If we simply clean out our closets but don’t do the work in our hearts we will simply find ourselves coming home with more shopping bags filled with replacements for what we have already given up. We will keep trying to fill the void. It’s only once we release the hunger for more that lives and breathes within us that we will stop seeking and surrounding ourself with more on the outside.
Looking for less starts from within.
