It started as a little stinging in my right eye and a tingle in my nose. Tears flooded down my cheeks. Of course right as this started Ben walked through the doors to find me sobbing on the couch looking at my phone. I pulled the blanket up over my head, knowing there was no way to explain how he had found me that would give the right authenticity to this moment. 

How did I end up in tears? I had simply planned to kill a few minutes escaping chores with a some of my “friends” on IG. What I found instead was a call to action. An invitation by @BriMckoy to support impoverished children through compassion ministry. Always a sucker for a swipe up, I did and found myself face to face with countless children who needed some form of help. 

I know the fallenness of this world. This is not the first time I have encountered hungry or hurting children. I sponsor children through other organizations. I hear about pain throughout the world on all fronts. We live in a broken world. So often I put on armor to protect myself from feeling the pain. It’s easier to feel numb to all of the hurt, hunger, need, hatred. It’s easy to fall back on “I can’t fix all of it” and to do nothing. 

I can’t fix all of it. That day as Ben walked in to find me sobbing, the tears I had denied for so long for every pain I know and don’t know, I closed my phone and sat there overwhelmed. Then after a few minutes of sitting in the pain I realized I couldn’t sponsor all the children and yes, that made anything less feel LESS. But I could sponsor one. I could allow this pain in, I could put down my shield and do one small thing knowing it wouldn’t fix everything, it would simply be something. 

Something is better than nothing. Something can snowball into more somethings. Something keeps me connected with others' pain and needs. Something forces me to see the goodness in my life. Something is what one little child needs across an ocean to keep him safe and fed. Something is a start.