Things we used to do before COVID-19. Yoga with goats is one of the many things that seems so in juxtaposition to where we are now. How glamorous to have so much time on our hands that we could use some of it with farm animals and a yoga mat. The other day I rolled out my yoga mat and attempted a quick 20 minutes of recentering. About halfway through my first downward dog I noticed little hands pulling at my legs and then a warm body moving through the tunnel I was creating with my outstretched arms and legs. I’ve never done goat yoga but I can only imagine I was having a very similar experience. A bit chaotic, slightly cute and also wondering why did I try this? 

This was not the first “why did I try this?” moment in quarantine. It wasn’t even the first “why did I try this?” moment in parenting. I am constantly changing course. I am continually learning. Mistakes or missed expectations are our opportunity to grow. The rhythm of my days has changed since the day I tried yoga with an awake one year old. I look back at those days and see a woman who was trying to fit it all in. I was trying to be mom, Meredith and wife with no reprieve. I was trying to figure out how to make sense of an unimaginable thing. 

As much as it feels like this time at home with few escapes has been painfully the same, I look back at the past months and realize there have been changes. There have been changes in my expectations. There have been changes in our movements. And there will continue to be changes. I refuse to hold on too tightly to today knowing, so clearly, that tomorrow will not be the same.