When we started this pandemic, here in Los Angeles, we were told that we were going to have a safer at home order for two weeks. Looking back at this I'm embarrassed that I didn't look beyond those initial two weeks. I don't remember asking the question "what happens after two weeks?". I'm sure there were lots of questions on my mind but I never imagined what actually did lie ahead.

In LA we have been one of the heaviest hit locations along with other bigger metropolitan areas. But there are many parts of the US that seem to have escaped our experience. While my reality the past three months has been leaving the house only for walks and ensuring I have a mask with me on those outings; there are many places (some not that far from me) that are living a very different reality with much more freedom than I feel.

I've struggled with this. It's strange to watch other parts of the country move forward while you are standing still. And that's what it has felt like for the majority of the past three months, that I'm still here, in the same place, wondering when I'll get permission to move forward again.

And then I read Philippians 3:13-14 "But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." This led me to ask myself the question "Have I forgotten what I'm moving towards?".  My only hope of strength and endurance in this time of sameness and frustration is to remember what is everlasting. If I'm being honest it doesn't fix all the questions and struggles I feel in this time, but it does take my focus off of my loss and remind me to look beyond myself.