I’m a people pleaser. In friendship terms this means I can be a bit of a chameleon. I can blend in with the people around me. The positive to this is I typically am well liked. The negative is I’m not always true to myself in relationships.

How has this played out in my life? I’ve had to be very careful with the people I surround myself with. While this is true for all of us: you are the company you keep, it’s especially true for us people pleasers.

I don’t mean to do it. I just easily slip into the role of mirroring what’s happening around me. It’s taken years for me to even recognize this about myself. And it’s taken even more hard work at discovering who I want to be to undo some of the habits I’ve created.

The funny thing is, I don’t think true friendship is built out of two identical people coming together to agree with each other all the time. That’s not relationship, that’s staring in the mirror. My richest, deepest, most fulfilling relationships are the ones where we can come together and be honest about our hopes, desires, beliefs and DISAGREE but still love each other.

It’s scary to enter into a friendship with someone different than you. And it’s scarier still to admit you don’t always agree. Sometimes it will backfire and that’s ok. But when it doesn’t fail, the success will outnumber the failures.